5 times Barry almost said I love you
by MiriRainbowitz
Summary: ...and 1 time he did.


-5  
They're swaying on the school gym to some slow love song, but Barry is almost completely oblivious to his surroundings, focusing on the fact that he's actually slow-dancing with Iris. He's hyper-aware of all the places their bodies are touching- her hands around his neck, his hand around her waist, her face tucked against his shoulder.

_I love you_.

He can feel himself choking on those words. It would be so easy to say them, but he knows he shouldn't. The reason Iris is slow-dancing with him is because she and her boyfriend had broken up a few weeks ago, and he'd offered to go to junior prom with her. Because that's what best friends are for, especially best friends who are secretly in love.

He wants to say those words, but he knows now is not the time.

-4  
Barry is finishing packing his clothes into a suitcase when he hears his bedroom door open. He turns around to see Iris standing in the doorway.

"Your room's so…empty," Iris said.

"Yeah," Barry replied with a nod.

Iris walked over to the bed and sat down. "It's- it's going to be so weird, not having you here," she said.

"I'll still come visit," replied Barry. "And we'll be able to talk, and Skype."

"It's not the same though," said Iris. She suddenly leaned over and pulled Barry into a hug. "I'm going to miss you, Bear."

Barry stayed silent. He wanted to say _I love you_, but as always, he stops himself. He can't just drop an emotional bomb like that on Iris, not when he won't be around for at least two months.

"I'm going to miss you too, Iris," he finally said.

-3  
Barry tapped Iris on the shoulder. She spun around, probably about to yell at him, but her expression froze for a few seconds before shifting into a wide grin.

"Barry!" she exclaimed, leaping up from the chair to hug him. "What- why are you here?"

"It's your 21st birthday, Iris. Did you really think I'd miss that?" replied Barry.

Iris paused for a few seconds. "I guess not," she said. "When are you going back?"

"Tomorrow night." At the reproachful look on Iris's face, Barry said, "I only have one class tomorrow anyway."

Iris shook her head, but her lips were turning up into a smile. "Well, I guess that since you're here, I might as well hog you as long as I can."

About an hour later, Iris is officially tipsy. She's talking to Barry about some of her classes, and maybe it's just because he hasn't been in her company for a month, but Barry thinks she's never looked more beautiful.

He could tell her that he loves her. Right now, it's just the two of them- her other friends had wandered off or aren't paying attention- but at the last second, he swallows the words. Not only is tonight about Iris, but depending on how drunk she gets, she might not even remember him telling her.

Instead, he just sits there and smiles, listening to Iris.

-2  
Barry can't seem to bring himself to move. He knows he should- he's blocking the door of his bedroom- but he's too shocked right now.

He'd gotten home in the morning, dumped his suitcases and boxes and stuff in his bedroom, then spent the rest of the day walking around Central City. He knew that not unpacking then would mean he'd have to unpack in the evening, but he'd really missed the city.

When he came back, Joe had just started to make dinner, so Barry decided to start unpacking. He'd gone upstairs and opened his door-

-only to see Iris standing in his room, which she'd apparently spent the whole day getting back to normal.

"Barry?" said Iris tentatively, and Barry snapped out of his stupor. He practically flung himself at her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"So I take it you approve?" asked Iris.

"I-" Barry cuts himself off. He can't tell her now- she has a boyfriend. "Thank you, Iris," he said, trying to pour the love he feels for her into his words.

-1  
Even though he just woke up from a 9-month-long coma, Barry feels fine. Besides, he _needs_ to see Iris- needs to know how she is.

He gets to Jitters and spots her almost immediately, his face automatically breaking into a smile as Iris runs up to him and hugs him. It's only for a second, but the hug left Barry feeling light and free and happy.

"You're awake. Why didn't STAR labs call us?" asked Iris.

"I just woke up," Barry replied.

"Should you even be on your feet?" said Iris in a worried tone.

Barry still feels unbelievably happy. "Iris, I'm- I'm okay," he said fervently. He wanted to say more, but Iris's face fell.

"I watched you _die_, Barry." She pauses. "You kept _dying_, your heart kept stopping."

Barry almost says something like _I love you_, but he can't. Telling her that right now would be too much for her, so Barry grabs her hand and pulls it over his heart.

"It's still beating," he reassures her.

"It feels really fast," she replies, but suddenly the world seems to slow down- Barry can see the waitress collide with another person, and it seems to take a few seconds for the plate she's carrying to hit the ground. He whips around to see a keychain traveling slowly through the air.

The plate hits the ground with a crash, and everything goes back to normal speed. Iris is still talking, and he's paying attention to her, but a part of him is thrown off by what just happened.

+1  
Barry pauses for a moment before he opens the door. Part of him- the part that's been restraining himself from telling Iris how he feels for years- is urging him to not go through with this, but…

_The man in the yellow suit- he's taken enough from us already. Don't let him take any more_.

His father is right, and moreover, it's Iris. She's not in love with him, but he is her best friend, and it's so hard for him to keep secrets from her. Doing this will make that burden a little bit easier.

When he walks in, she's decorating the tree that he'd decorated and undecorated in a matter of seconds that afternoon. She jokingly asks him if there are any awards for tree-trimming, but he only sighs in reply.

Iris's expression shifts from happy to slightly worried. "Are you okay, Bear?" she asks.

Barry takes a deep breath, and walks over and hugs Iris. He closes his eyes and says, "I love you, Iris."


End file.
